June 2007 – Vol. IV, Issue 5
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On a Personal Note: Swimming Lessons
The last couple of weeks, my girls and I have headed to the swimming pool for a summer staple–swimming lessons! Our oldest has gone on her own to her preschool-age class, and has learned how to be more comfortable in the water, blow bubbles, kick her feet, stick her head in, and in general to be more confident. One nice benefit has been uninterrupted time to play with her little sister in the water for a half hour as we’ve gone to the parent-child class. Time to focus completely on her is pretty rare.
One other benefit of swimming lessons has been structured but leisurely mornings. It’s pretty much all we can do to get up, eat breakfast, get the swimsuits and sunscreen on, and get to the swimming pool on time. Applying sunscreen liberally and thoroughly takes a while! And I’m getting better at applying sunscreen to my own back, although sometimes I give up and ask our oldest to get a spot. I’m not sure how effective her gingerly swipes are, but I didn’t get any weird red spots, so I guess we did okay. I’m fully aware that they have SPF 50 sunscreen spray now, and we tried it a couple of times, but I’ve got to build my trust up slowly. Then, of course, getting dressed at the pool, coming home, then bathing and showering to get ready for the day takes a while too. In fact, the whole morning is gone by the time we’re all done. Then with lunch time and getting the baby down for her nap, most of the day has been spent. Yet, there’s something strangely gratifying about it all.
In a couple of weeks, we’ll be back at the pool again, this time for our oldest’s preschool level 2 class. It will be fun to actually see her participate in her class, but the new challenge will be to keep the baby out of the pool and occupied. Wish us luck!
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June 2007 – Vol. IV, Issue 5
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Feature Article: The Impact of “No”
I’ve noticed recently that as my youngest nears her second birthday, I hear myself saying “no” more and more. In fact, sometimes it’s “no, sweetie,” sometimes “NO!” and sometimes (breathlessly) “oh no, NO!” She provides us with a bit of a challenge, as she is a speedy child with natural curiosity. She also wants to do everything that her older sister does. And, just to provide you with a glimpse into her personality, my father calls her “Miss Destruction.”
The other thing that I’ve noticed is that on those days where I’ve been saying “no” over and over again, I feel pretty exasperated and she gets very, very cranky. On those days, she cries more than she’s happy, and I’m reminded of the parenting advice to “redirect, redirect, redirect.” The demoralizing effect of constantly hearing “no” all the time is pretty obvious in my usually sunny little toddler. In addition, my “no”s are so often accompanied by facial expressions and body language of stress, frustration or anger. How could I expect my child to be happy if that’s what she’s seeing from me?
It takes energy, and lots of creativity, to redirect. But when I do it and I’m successful at it, I feel like a hero and my daughter is a happy camper.
So what lessons can you find in this to apply to your own life? There are a few that I’ve thought of for mine:
- When we are saying “no” more than “yes” to the people in our lives, whether they are our family members, coworkers or employees, the relationship starts feeling very strained. It’s as if they have to guess what we want over and over again until we’re both feeling frustrated. In contrast, if we can find lots of things to say “yes” to, and actually help those in our lives find things that are productive and enjoyable, they feel acknowledged and appreciated–and we feel pretty gratified ourselves.
- Although it does take energy and creativity to redirect, the reward is so worth it. We can cheer the other person on, and they learn over time the activities that are truly worth celebrating.
- Not everything is as big a deal as it feels at the time. I often need to prioritize what I feel an urge to say “no” to, because sometimes it’s not that big of a deal. Some of the greatest learning / teaching opportunities happen when a child or employee tries something and it doesn’t go so well. Also, if I say no to everything, it’s not as likely that my charge will learn the critical “no”s.
- When I’m feeling like life is saying “no” a lot to me, I can find my own joyful things to redirect to instead of allowing myself to become demoralized, discouraged, helpless and hopeless.
Let’s alleviate our own stress by finding much more to say “yes” to. The people in your life will be extremely grateful, as will your own heart and mind.
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June 2007 – Vol. IV, Issue 5
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Recommended Resource: Musicovery
Some of my colleagues have already heard me recommend this fun resource, but I have been really enjoying Musicovery (www.musicovery.com) recently. It’s an online music player that allows you to choose your listening based on your mood, selecting genres that you want to hear. It also allows you to choose music that prompts dancing (or not) as well as the dance tempo. You can even select time periods, so if you want to hear only ’80s music, you can slide the selector brackets to either side of that decade. There’s even a “discovery” option, which will play little-heard music. And, if you want to learn more about an artist or purchase music, there are convenient links on each musical selection to Amazon, iTunes or eBay. Although some online radio stations or online music players don’t include classical, this one does. So if you like a little brain music while you’re working, Musicovery does the job.
Unfortunately, this type of online radio may soon be a thing of the past. Pandora, another well-loved online music player, has alerted subscribers to a recent ruling that has drastically increased the royalty rates for webcasters and will be retroactive back to January 1, 2006. This ruling will effectively put most internet radio stations or music players out of business. You can learn more, and perhaps join the fight to save internet radio, at www.blog.pandora.com or www.savenetradio.org.
Maybe you’re thinking that high royalty rates for broadcasting music online is a good thing. Perhaps, but only for major music labels for artists that are “packaged” and already well-known. The music discovery via the internet movement that has been building, benefiting the independent artist and struggling band of talented musicians, will suffer a huge setback. Playing music over the internet legally, paying reasonable (not strangling) royalty fees, makes sense for everyone. For that reason, I support the Internet Radio Equality Act that is currently being considered by the United States legislature. If you are interested in voicing your support, contact your representatives in Congress.
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